Couldn't be bothered with work. aka 堕落
Nowadays, I've been very slack in my work. I do only what is necessary. I've stopped scanning through ISI and ScienceDirect to look for papers related to my work. I've stopped cleaning my tubes every other day. I no longer try to reach the lab before 9:30am just to check on my reactors, and no longer try to stay back in the lab to watch the 10pm decant. In fact, I can leave school at 5+ without hesitation.
In other words, I'm quite 堕落 these days.
Part of the reason is that I've become more efficient in my lab work. Hey, I'm not boasting. But when you've been doing the same tasks over and over again for more than a year, there is little reason that you can't find some "shortcuts" around things.
Another part of the reason is that I just COULDN'T BE BOTHERED. Thinking back of the times I enthusiastically locked myself in lab, I find it very stupid.
Why do I have to monitor every cycle just to adjust the water level? Whether the water level falls at 22.0 L or 22.5 L or 22.25356 L really matter? NO, it doesn't.
Recent events taught me not to work for any reason except for myself. So, work is supposed to make me happy. If I'm not happy with the work, i shall not work.
In the near future, I hope I can be more 堕落. I hope I can bear not going to school for ONE whole day. ok, I can start with a day in the weekend. Then I will advance to not going to school on a weekday. wow...
[I'm going through a work-related-moody period right now. So dear friends, 不要骂我啦!]
posted by WSW at 11:05 AM
2 Comments:
I feel it's ok to 堕落 once in a while. But when 堕落 becomes a habit, you begin to wonder if your work and research have any value and meaning to you. Then you wil doubt yourself, your motivations, your life... serious consequences.
Profound? :P
it's amazing how u can put your tots into words so beautifully..
but at least you are more human now..=) u need a break gal..
but hope ur drive comes back soon and u can find some purpose in making u work hard again..
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