Year 2012
I really wanted and planned to write a 2012 recap for myself since mid Dec. I think my procrastinating gene is really powerful.
I realize that this topic is too wide and decided to narrow down to two topics - how my life has changed or what I've learned in 2012.
1. Marriage
I have to write "Married" instead of "Single" in any forms or checklists requesting my marital status. Also have to update my CV accordingly.
I have to memorize my new house address. I have to remember not to tell taxi drivers to send me to West Coast Plaza.
I'm lucky that my in-laws are pleasant people. So far I have no problem staying with them, most likely because my total stay in Singapore didn't exceed one month last year. So I couldn't claim this as my achievement anyway. I do have to consistently remind myself to take note of my behaviour, attitude and habits. It's still different from staying in my parents' homes, where I can get away with anything. That's the thing about parents, they accept their kids unconditionally. I also have to remind myself, my in-laws didn't choose me, I chose their son and brother, so it's more difficult for them to keep up with me than me with them. Every smile and every kind word is a gift and I appreciative it. We're going to stick together through thick and thin for now onwards. We're a family.
When friends invite me for dinners or visits, I have to remember to check with my husband whether he wants to go. Because now when people invite me, it means inviting your husband as well by default. I cannot assume he wants or doesn't want to go as I wish, and I don't want to be accused of being authoritative.
No more accepting angpows (extra pocket money). Have to chase after kids to give them angpows. Have to make a mental note which kid received or has not received my angpows if the house is full of kids. Learn to react to the awkwardness if kids just snatch the angpow and run away.
Feel indifferent to the occasional "Auntie" from strangers. Feel guilty to be called "小妹" by hawkers. Don't laugh, I get 小妹s quite often.
My other name is "XX's wife". period, no need to know my actual name.
2. In a foreign country as an "expat"
People tend to stereotype expatriates as those with a fat paycheck, staying in service apartments and having a colorful life traveling around the world. It is so not true. Expatriates simply refer to people who were sent abroad by their company as opposed to hiring locals. "Ex" refers to "out", "patria" refers to "country".
I really learn to appreciate my own country. I know a lot of people complain a lot about Singapore online. Whether the complaints are valid or not are secondary, I usually read between the lines for the intentions. Some people hold a grudge against society due to whatever reasons, I think they will complain regardless they are living in Singapore or anywhere else in the world. Some people genuinely wants to raise an awareness and wish for better conditions. Sometimes I get angry reading stupid comments which are non-constructive. If you want to complain about waiting for 10 min for a train, try coming to where I am now where there are no trains at all. If you want to complain about people talking loudly on the handphone or not giving up seats for elderly, try coming to where I am now, where two person can stop their cars along a road to have a chit chat and cause a 1km traffic jam. I just want to say, the country is made up of the people who stay in it, not the government who rules it. So don't use the word "they" or "them", or don't make it sound like "we" doesn't include "me".
I get used to living in a 3 storey house with 4 bedrooms, 3 toilets and a garage. I learn to make sure I gather all the things I require when I climb up to my bedroom or when I come down from it. Otherwise, it's a good leg workout. Of course, cleaning up is a chore which I dread every week.
Do not try to decorate your house. You have to move soon.
I'm lucky that my in-laws are pleasant people. So far I have no problem staying with them, most likely because my total stay in Singapore didn't exceed one month last year. So I couldn't claim this as my achievement anyway. I do have to consistently remind myself to take note of my behaviour, attitude and habits. It's still different from staying in my parents' homes, where I can get away with anything. That's the thing about parents, they accept their kids unconditionally. I also have to remind myself, my in-laws didn't choose me, I chose their son and brother, so it's more difficult for them to keep up with me than me with them. Every smile and every kind word is a gift and I appreciative it. We're going to stick together through thick and thin for now onwards. We're a family.
When friends invite me for dinners or visits, I have to remember to check with my husband whether he wants to go. Because now when people invite me, it means inviting your husband as well by default. I cannot assume he wants or doesn't want to go as I wish, and I don't want to be accused of being authoritative.
No more accepting angpows (extra pocket money). Have to chase after kids to give them angpows. Have to make a mental note which kid received or has not received my angpows if the house is full of kids. Learn to react to the awkwardness if kids just snatch the angpow and run away.
Be humble (say sorry if I'm wrong), be grateful (always say thank you), be blind (pretend not to see the mess), be deaf (pretend not to hear words that don't matter), be mute (do not be naggy).
2. In a foreign country as an "expat"
People tend to stereotype expatriates as those with a fat paycheck, staying in service apartments and having a colorful life traveling around the world. It is so not true. Expatriates simply refer to people who were sent abroad by their company as opposed to hiring locals. "Ex" refers to "out", "patria" refers to "country".
I really learn to appreciate my own country. I know a lot of people complain a lot about Singapore online. Whether the complaints are valid or not are secondary, I usually read between the lines for the intentions. Some people hold a grudge against society due to whatever reasons, I think they will complain regardless they are living in Singapore or anywhere else in the world. Some people genuinely wants to raise an awareness and wish for better conditions. Sometimes I get angry reading stupid comments which are non-constructive. If you want to complain about waiting for 10 min for a train, try coming to where I am now where there are no trains at all. If you want to complain about people talking loudly on the handphone or not giving up seats for elderly, try coming to where I am now, where two person can stop their cars along a road to have a chit chat and cause a 1km traffic jam. I just want to say, the country is made up of the people who stay in it, not the government who rules it. So don't use the word "they" or "them", or don't make it sound like "we" doesn't include "me".
I get used to living in a 3 storey house with 4 bedrooms, 3 toilets and a garage. I learn to make sure I gather all the things I require when I climb up to my bedroom or when I come down from it. Otherwise, it's a good leg workout. Of course, cleaning up is a chore which I dread every week.
Do not try to decorate your house. You have to move soon.
Learn how to be a "smuggler". In a luggage, 30% is clothes, toiletries and personal items. 70% is food or local products. Top items:
- Chilli sauce/ sambal chilli
- Sauce packs and soup packs e.g. bak kut teh, chicken curry, mee siam, emperor chicken, mee siam, laksa
- 2 or 3-in-1 kopi packs
- Dried products, e.g. chinese mushrooms, hei bi, ikan bilis, peanuts (for soup and porridge), lup cheong
- Bottled/canned food e.g. cai xin, braised peanuts, spicy fermented beancurd
It's ok to hear lots of car horns at the shops area. The locals prefer to just park outside the shop and horn for service. I prefer to walk into the shop and choose what I want.
I hate going out at night because I have to brave the night traffic in my 小白 (white colored Nissan Sunny). When you're surrounded by Land Cruisers and Prados which whizz past you at 120 kmh, I assure you that you will give your 110% attention to your driving. I will also keep looking through my rear mirror to make sure the cars behind are happy with my speed. They will give no second thought to flash their high beams at me or tailgate me till I give in and change lane.
It's ok to drive above 120 kmh if there are no cameras.
(just kidding)
Never expose my legs in public. I have been given a dressing down by a local woman for wearing a knee-length dress. This is just a small episode, but I have learnt that we have to be more sensitive to others, especially people who have a different background from us.
Efficiency is not a given. It's no use trying to scream and shout, threaten to complain and sue, chase daily by phone or email, for something to move. Insha'Allah - could be the first arabic phrase I learn here. It means God willing or if God wills. Be patient, work around it. Take this into account during planning and manage our expectations.
Being rich isn't everything. What is more important is to act with integrity, grace, humility, kindness and high moral standards.
Stay positive - there are times when work gets stressful, things go uncontrolled, people get rude.
Handle things with a smile (except when driving of course).
Try to be worldly. Accept different practices and different culture. Do not criticize with bad intentions.
My personal laptop is my best friend who keeps me company all day on Fridays.
3. New position at work
Procurement work is actually based on a very simple principle which everyone knows and can do because we do buy things for ourselves everyday. When you want to buy something,
1. you make sure you buy the right thing. If you want to make green bean soup, you won't go and buy red beans.
2. you make sure you buy it in time. If the green bean soup is for your husband's birthday, you will make sure you buy it before his birthday.
3. you make sure you buy a good quality product. You wouldn't a packet of green beans which has expired last week.
4. you buy the right quantity. It's only for 2 persons, you don't buy 5 kg of green bean.
5. you go to the right Store. You wouldn't go to KFC to buy green bean right?
6. you ensure delivery arrangement.
7. you make sure the price is right.
(these are the 7 rights of procurement)
However, of course, life is never perfect. Difficulty comes when:
1. I cannot decide whether to cook green bean or red bean soup.
2. I forgot my husband's birthdate.
3. I didn't check the expiry date.
4. They only come in 10 kg packs.
5. I didn't know KFC doesn't sell green beans
6. I think green beans can walk home themselves
7. The cashier smiled at me so she must be charging me the right price.
Procurement is a sensitive job. We get endowed with the right to spend money for the company. That's why we have to play it down. I think once people get the idea that you're too smart, too resourceful, too outstanding, they suspect if you're playing any games. We have to quietly anticipate the problems that will come. We have to react quickly when things happen. When things are right, give the credits away. When things go wrong, erase the discredits before they set in people's minds.
Managing staff is a new role. Even small things like leave planning can spark off resent among your team. There will always be I-don't-like-you/you-piss-me-off issues among the team, and it could get ugly. You can't avoid confrontations, you just have to face them head on.
I am still learning...
All in all, I remain thankful that 2012 has passed peacefully. My new resolution is to stay focus on things that really matter in my life. (Yah, I forget this a lot and often make wrong decisions.)
p.s. I want to say Thank you to my husband who keeps me happy all the time.
(just kidding)
Never expose my legs in public. I have been given a dressing down by a local woman for wearing a knee-length dress. This is just a small episode, but I have learnt that we have to be more sensitive to others, especially people who have a different background from us.
Efficiency is not a given. It's no use trying to scream and shout, threaten to complain and sue, chase daily by phone or email, for something to move. Insha'Allah - could be the first arabic phrase I learn here. It means God willing or if God wills. Be patient, work around it. Take this into account during planning and manage our expectations.
Being rich isn't everything. What is more important is to act with integrity, grace, humility, kindness and high moral standards.
Stay positive - there are times when work gets stressful, things go uncontrolled, people get rude.
Handle things with a smile (except when driving of course).
Try to be worldly. Accept different practices and different culture. Do not criticize with bad intentions.
My personal laptop is my best friend who keeps me company all day on Fridays.
3. New position at work
Procurement work is actually based on a very simple principle which everyone knows and can do because we do buy things for ourselves everyday. When you want to buy something,
1. you make sure you buy the right thing. If you want to make green bean soup, you won't go and buy red beans.
2. you make sure you buy it in time. If the green bean soup is for your husband's birthday, you will make sure you buy it before his birthday.
3. you make sure you buy a good quality product. You wouldn't a packet of green beans which has expired last week.
4. you buy the right quantity. It's only for 2 persons, you don't buy 5 kg of green bean.
5. you go to the right Store. You wouldn't go to KFC to buy green bean right?
6. you ensure delivery arrangement.
7. you make sure the price is right.
(these are the 7 rights of procurement)
However, of course, life is never perfect. Difficulty comes when:
1. I cannot decide whether to cook green bean or red bean soup.
2. I forgot my husband's birthdate.
3. I didn't check the expiry date.
4. They only come in 10 kg packs.
5. I didn't know KFC doesn't sell green beans
6. I think green beans can walk home themselves
7. The cashier smiled at me so she must be charging me the right price.
Procurement is a sensitive job. We get endowed with the right to spend money for the company. That's why we have to play it down. I think once people get the idea that you're too smart, too resourceful, too outstanding, they suspect if you're playing any games. We have to quietly anticipate the problems that will come. We have to react quickly when things happen. When things are right, give the credits away. When things go wrong, erase the discredits before they set in people's minds.
Managing staff is a new role. Even small things like leave planning can spark off resent among your team. There will always be I-don't-like-you/you-piss-me-off issues among the team, and it could get ugly. You can't avoid confrontations, you just have to face them head on.
I am still learning...
All in all, I remain thankful that 2012 has passed peacefully. My new resolution is to stay focus on things that really matter in my life. (Yah, I forget this a lot and often make wrong decisions.)
- At work, focus on gaining respect, not authority or money.
- With spouse, focus on how much love he gives, not how much money or hair he has.
- On everday affairs, focus on who you're eating with, not what you're eating. Focus on what you're doing, not what you should have been doing. Focus on people who make you happy, not people who make you angry.
p.s. I want to say Thank you to my husband who keeps me happy all the time.
posted by WSW at 6:02 PM
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